Source: reddit
- I use song lyrics (or quotes or many other things) written by others to communicate emotion. Symbols are also values as they communicate a message without having to use a bunch of words. Verbal expression of feelings is difficult because I'm almost self conscious about it. It's vocabulary I'm not used to using, and I witness others (feelers) using it in excess. I don't want you to think I'm just throwing words around. I have deep emotions, and while others may not see it, the connection that I seek makes it prevalent. I use the well written words of others to help me with this. And if I do say anything affectionate, it's a big deal.
- Spending time together includes doing our own thing while sharing oxygen. I enjoy you being in my space (most of the time). That doesn't mean I don't want face to face time, but we can spend quality time together without actually having to talk.
- I am hard on myself, indescribably so. I am disappointed when I let you down because I know you are also disappointed too. It is one of the most painful things for me to think that I cannot measure up to what you want.
- I WANT to play with you; I want sex to be fun. But at the same time it is something very mental for me. There is much more that goes into it beyond arousal; it is connection based, extremely mental, and I want to be ONE with you.
- A relationship is an investment. I can decide quickly who will work out and who will not. I make quick judgments, and once I decide on the one who will work, I am invested. If I know a relationship is done with, I cut emotion quickly.
- I look out for those closest to me. If I enjoy something, I want you to be able to share the enjoyment. If I’m able to enjoy something and you aren’t with me, I spend the time wishing you were there to enjoy it too. If I find something I like, I want to either share mine or get one for you too. It’s another way I show affection.
- Try to stick to the plans we’ve made. I get disappointed when things don't go according to plan. If we are going out on a Friday night, and we decided on Pizza, I can deal with switching to Chinese. Just don’t call me Thursday afternoon and tell me you have to reschedule. If I actually like you, I would have been looking forward to it. (If I was relieved you canceled, it’s not going to work out with us anyway).
- I am more sensitive than you think. I take critique well. I don't take your criticism well. You are important and so is your opinion. You do have the ability to hurt my feelings.
- INFJs want peace and harmony. So do I, but peace and harmony for me looks like finding a workable solution or a resolution. I don't bend to make peace; I can get stubborn. I like to come to a win/win solution for us both. Loose ends bother me. I will never be coy about bringing up issues. Empathy is difficult because I can be self centered. Knowing I hurt you hurts me, but I also need to know why what I did hurt you. It has to make sense to me. If I love you, I am direct with you because I want things to get worked out. Bottom line: fixing the problem, and fixing it quickly, is the goal.
- I always want to make the relationship better. It doesn't mean the relationship is broken. It just means I want to make a good thing the best thing. If I tell you to try something new, I’m not trying to change who you are as a person. I’m trying to help you be the best you can be. If I didn't care, I'd leave you to yourself.
- I collect info over time and make general observations. If I accuse you of something and you ask for specifics, I have a hard time recalling exacts. I know something happened, I just don’t remember the trivial (to me) details. Once I generalize, I toss the details. If I do remember details, it means something is terribly wrong
No comments:
Post a Comment